Ancient Greek culture did not shrink away from the
pedantic rigidity of the petit-bourgeois society. Before Hugh Hefner fought his
way through to the best pieces of the world’s meat, throwing only the leftovers
from his table to the rest of us perverts in the form of artistic photographs
that cover more than they uncover, the ancient Greeks freely expressed their
sexuality three thousand years ago, carrying it along everywhere without being
ashamed or embarrassed. Bora Čorba tried to relay the echoes of that freedom in
Serbia with the words of his song “dick, pussy, ass, tit”, but the echo died in
the deaf wall standing firmly before the Serbian nation…
I remember that in school we didn’t learn of the
Mycenaean coffee cups with porn positions – an extremely valuable gadget for coffee-drinking
with your next-door and further-down-the-road neighbors. I mean, they certainly
did convince me that if a girl wants something from you, then she sends you a
subliminal message like “Wanna go have a coffee?” or “When are we gonna have a
coffee?” or something along those lines. Now, I interpret all such invitations
as the primal propagation call and I try to smile as much as possible – yes,
that, too is supposed to portray a subconscious desire for coupling and the
primal mind of your potential partner will know how to decipher those signals,
so just shut up and let nature take its course.
A perfect example: during my recent
visit to the island of Poros, my attention was captured by the postcards
depicting the acts found on the above mentioned cups and home utensils in
Mycenae, Crete and the surrounding Cyclades. Aghast, I gaped at the orgies at
the central square: threesomes, twosomes, oral analyses and many variations complemented
by vivid scenes of the lonely rider, solitary jerk and… a few postcards of the
island sneaked their way in there, too.
I hesitated not and bought two of
them on the spot: I didn’t want to buy the rest since I’m a serious man. I will
try and give a couple of proposals for the titles or captions thereof:
“No, don’t come closer, or the white
will be on you all over!”
“Just… just stay over there, ok? I
can manage it.”
“But ho! Are you sure you can take
it?”
“Here I go with the thing on my
own…”
“Big cock opens the chastity belt as
well!”
“She who knows, gets two… in one.”
If you find this inspiring, write
your own suggestions in the comments section. If not, how about we go get a cup
of coffee?
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